We established in pillar number one that no one will ever be excited to set goals with someone they don't respect or someone they don't feel respects them. Today I'd like us to focus on the pillar of common goals. When we agree on something and develop a goal around it we are exposing the fact that we have a similar value system working for us. The ability to come together and establish goals in every area of our life will begin to close the door to disunity and invite the blessings and favor of God into our lives. Matthew 18:19 tells us that when two of us agree about anything we ask for it will be done for us by the Father in heaven. Amos 3:3 asks the famous question, can two walk together unless they agree? Well, the truth is they can't.

The very first area that I believe every Christian couple should agree on is that they will do marriage according to the word of God. Once that is the foundation on which they agree to build, the process becomes simple for them. Imagine playing a game of basketball with a friend and they decide to play by a different set of rules than you. It's safe to say that conflict will be very prevalent during this game. As a matter of fact, you guys will do more fighting than playing. This is the way many marriages operate, simply because they refuse to establish common goals on which the marriage will be established. Another tremendous common goal I believe every marriage should implement is found in Ephesians 5:21, which says to submit one to another out of reverence for Christ. These are timeless principles that we must commit to coming to an agreement with. When we do, our decision will then establish a sense of security and safety that begins to pave the way for great emotional intimacy.

Growth

If you can agree on growth being a top priority in your marriage, your marriage will take off in a big way. Every marriage should invest in reading one new marriage book annually, attending a marriage conference or retreat, and listening to a solid Christian base podcast regularly. Romans 12:2 tells us, do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Sherilyn and I have counseled many married couples and we have seen a tremendous difference between those that work on growth and those that refuse to do the work. Renewal of the mind is directly connected to the breakthrough you are looking for in your marriage and family. Hosea 4:6 tells us that the people of God are destroyed for a lack of knowledge, However, Proverbs 11:9b tells us that it is through knowledge that the just shall be delivered. Growth is a mandatory common goal for every marriage. Many things are optional, but this is not one of them.

There is a host of things that you will want to do and accomplish together and individually. Make sure that you are both in full agreement on those things before you implement them. Living this way will certainly move you towards great emotional intimacy and you will experience a slice of heaven on earth in your marriage.

Joel Ross