Disappointment comes from having unrealistic expectations. Today I'd like to bring to your attention some wisdom that God has already made clear in his word that will assist you in setting the proper expectations for your marriage. Putting your trust in God while loving your spouse is a recipe for Success & great peace.

I've seen too many couples place all of their hopes in the hands of their husband or wife only to be terribly disappointed. In their mind the spouse should not disappoint them or make mistakes. And instead of building great intimacy they end up building nothing but resentment against one another.

Jeremiah 17:5-8 tells us 5 Thus says the Lord“Cursed is the man who trusts in man And makes flesh his strength,

Whose heart departs from the Lord. 6 For he shall be like a shrub in the desert,And shall not see when good comes,But shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness,In a salt land which is not inhabited.“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,And whose hope is the Lord. 8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes;But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

This scripture makes it super clear that it's a curse to put our trust in a human, even if that human is your spouse. They will let you down simply because they are not God. But this scripture Goes on to tell us that our trust is to be put in God and when we do the rewards are tremendous.

We are limited in our ability to guarantee things and because that is a fact of life we should never put the burden on anyone to do only what  God is supposed to do. It's too much pressure for them & they will resent you for it.  Loving them however, is the greatest gift you can give them.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I remember calling my wife to tell her I was about ten minutes away from home as she was waiting to have dinner with me. About five minutes later I discovered that the bridge close to my house was out and I needed to turn around and detour four miles in the other direction to get home. A simple 10 minute trip turned into a twenty five minute trip and my wife was stuck waiting on me while our dinner got cold.

The moral of my story is that I had good intentions to be home when I said I would, but because I am not the all knowing God I couldn't foresee that the bridge was out. A few short mins after making a promise, I broke that promise. It certainly was not my intention but it happened anyway.  It was the love of my wife that caused us to have a good dinner regardless. Because her trust was not in my ability to guarantee I'd be home in ten minutes.

She leaned on love and it allowed her to be patient and kind just like it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4.  If we want to live the abundant married life free of stress, we're gonna have to learn how to trust in God while loving our spouse. Love is a grace giving process that will always foster an athmosphere of peace. We need to live like this because it is the Will of God.

Joel Ross